We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Spleen

by Irene Wilde

supported by
sharratu
sharratu thumbnail
Jay Behel
Jay Behel thumbnail
/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 4 Irene Wilde releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Pyrrhicae, Balance, Spleen, and Melancholia. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $15.75 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

1.
A Healthy Dose 02:25
lyrics
buy track
A Healthy Dose So the question remains Am I still innocent in some small way When all these states Oh how they push and they shove They make me scream at the top of my lungs As if I’m falling in and out of love And while the heavens remain Tantalizing me with their prospect of faith That its our burdens that make us great And through my cries of shame I hear them laughing for I have yet to feel true pain Saying “God makes no mistakes.” But can you tell me what is me Is it the fluidity between the matter and energy The things you can and cannot see God makes no mistakes And if I chose to speak Not of a portent or a creed Would my euphoria go away along with my grief For don’t we suffer for our art This human condition that tears us apart For is there be beauty without the shock God makes no mistakes And through all my lessons learned My unique perspective of this world Tell me is it struggles that give us sight For is there triumph if there’s no triumph of mind? God makes no mistakes So the question remains If I took my meds to help me alleviate Is my passion intertwined solely with my pain So the question remains Would I love as deeply if I no longer Felt this way Tell me would i still love deeply The same A healthy dose
2.
Blue Leaves 04:03
lyrics
buy track
You’re a work of art A mixture of beauty and sadness He might not have had the painter’s eye To make out such distinctions And as your body heals I ask you to remember This reality you built Won’t block out all dark, unnatural movements Grow old with me Grow old with me Blue leaves, white branches on the trees Oh the world See it, see it with me And I will build you a balloon Float you away from this place Where the sun shines And hope doesn’t make you cave But now I stand as they pray All the people that have come to congregate As your mother gives me a false name So I can see you lie there In that lifeless state But I fear when you wake up You’ll still be needing that one man’s love And I won’t be enough So I sing to you While they fix your charcoaled Charcoaled lungs Grow old with me The best in life is yet to be Grow old with me The best in life The best in life The best So look me in the eye As I stand by your side You were telling me it was just a whim But the reality is You were an inch from this life So get angry with me Yell and scream Do what you need But do not wash this out to sea If I have to I’ll be the mirror that you need For when you wake up Not from death But unrequited love You’ll realize you are enough And there are many many Versions of true love ‘Cuz there’s a hope There’s a light But it’s not by reaching the other side Its by letting those tears fall And confronting what hurts most inside Grow old with me The best in life is yet to be Grow old with me The best in life The best in life Grow old with me The best in life is yet to be Grow old with me The best in life The best in life The best Blue leaves whites branches on the trees Oh the world you see it See it with me And I will build you a balloon Float you from this place Where the sun shines and Hope doesn’t make you cave But now I stand as they
3.
Heartbeat 03:37
lyrics
buy track
As they listen to my heartbeat As timid as how I pronounce I’m so sorry For making you all come out Don’t know what happened Seems my mind Thought it would be fun I’ve been holding so dearly to a light As brilliant as the sun I am mystified I’m here at all Can’t tell you what this act is But I know it’s my fault My fault And I know its all in my brain But this brain of mine Doesn’t distinguish types of pain And tomorrow will be yet another day Where I struggle with the same With wobbly knees and a manic brain I try to stand but I stray Oh nurse why are you so kind Gentle voices cooing my feeble mind But I just watch their mouths move And keep my thoughts in solitude For if they only knew My life goes on too soon And I know its all in my brain But this brain of mine Doesn’t distinguish types of pain I’m sorry you had to find out this way I should have told you but I was ashamed Oh please don’t go I’m selfish I know But can’t keep pretending that I’m not in control Oh please don’t go I know you’re terrified But I promise I’ll try harder every Second of this life For I know its all in my brain And it’s treatable now all the doctors say And mom I’ve felt so alone I’ve felt so afraid That I’ve been losing to something I could not state And I never wanted you to see me this way I wanna be strong like you I wanna be brave But for years I’ve struggled with my brain And I thought admitting it meant I couldn’t be those things And I never wanted you to see me this way I wanna be strong like you I wanna be brave But for years I’ve struggled with my brain And I thought admitting it meant I couldn’t be those things
4.
Angry 04:20
lyrics
buy track
I’ve been angry for some time This battle between my faith and my own life But I continue to pray Though I don’t know What to say For you gave us the ability to love And didn’t realize at times How it can destroy us Maybe all you were meant to give Was hope for us lonely men Oh king Can you hear me now Oh king Ive laid down my arms Oh king Am I being tested now Oh king Just hear me sing Oh king just watch me bleed Low down at your feet How many rings must you take from that tree Oh tell me how I should seen Oh king just watch me bleed Deaf or not able to speak Faith in motifs they no longer teach Oh tell me how I should be Oh tell me how I should So I call on you tonight To look past our sins And in the hearts and minds For I must believe that you’ll stay That you’ve yet to float on away Oh king Can you hear me now Oh king I’ve laid down my arms Oh king Am I being tested now Oh king Just listen to me scream For you just stand there As I reach out my hand Trying to get you to comprehend That we are but mere images And we have our faults But we tend to fall in love You sent me my own sun But he scorched both my palms Oh tell me how I should be Why must life always take All these things my heart can’t face For I still cause pain on those I say I love ‘cuz I’m afraid That I will have the same response As when I pray Oh king just watch me bleed Low down at your feet How many rings must you take from that tree Oh tell me how I should seen Oh king just watch me bleed Deaf or not able to speak Faith in motifs they no longer teach Oh tell me how I should be For you just stand there As I reach out my hand Trying to get you to comprehend That we are but mere images And we have our faults But we tend to fall in love You sent me my own sun But he scorched both my palms
5.
Cigarette Burns 02:43
lyrics
buy track
Would you recognize me if I passed you by Smoke rings mask my yellow eyes Curse words, beeping horns and traffic fucking lights Panic stricken, heartbeat racing I go to the alleyway to my right And it burns, that sound I got cigarette burns, cigarette burns in my thoughts Time passes, time flies Am I not stagnant in your eyes Oil and water, scattered round Never binding Never once I feel you bubble I feel you move All this toil has me Highly educated That I’m lost on how to merge At least with you And it burns, that sight I got cigarette burns, cigarette burns In my thoughts tonight And it burns The images in my mind Of a time I didn’t feel the need To hide Oh my skin is electric My skin is pale My body moves like an hourglass One surface to another Never ever fucking still Would you still have loved me With clench fists and bared fucking teeth Its not a maybe Oh baby can’t you see Feel the flames lick my skin Charcoal on my fingertips Tender eyes, graze me over Electric currents make me shudder Push and pull back the pain Old photographs and window frames Whisper into my ear That I did not evaporate And it burns, that sound I got cigarette burns, cigarette burns In my mind And it burns, that sight I got cigarette burns, cigarette burns Burning up everything of mine
6.
Mouth Full of Daggers 03:32
lyrics
buy track
I don’t wanna fight no more I just wanna go off and cry alone Or so it goes Mouth full of daggers I weep Can’t you just see me for me All these lies I tell So I’m not perceived as weak And I can’t need you anymore So I’m just gonna fight you ‘Cuz its all I know Plotting new routes around the city Just to realize this street Is where you first told me Something so dirty and yet so, so sweet But I can’t cling to memories Of a love that time wouldn’t let me keep We are all nostalgic beings But I will remove that part of me I can’t need you anymore So I’m just gonna fight you ‘Cuz it’s all I know oh I can’t love you anymore So I’m just gonna fight you Fight you What’s the use of the passion in me When it just comes out in my fury And the only way to contain my grief Is to deny you Deny me Fighter! Fighter! I don’t wanna hurt no more Fighter! Fighter! I’ve already slammed that door I’ve let all this pain Define who I am And warp my brain There’s venom in every word that I say Don’t wanna hurt no more So I cut the ties to everyone I adore Oh throw my humanity in the grave ‘Cuz I don’t need a human heart for this place I don’t’ wanna hurt no more So I cut the ties to everyone I adore Oh throw my humanity in the grave ‘Cuz I don’t need a human heart No I don’t need a human heart For this place And I can’t need you anymore So I fight you Yeah I fight you Oh I can’t love you anymore So I’m just gonna fight you Fight you
7.
Build Me Up 03:34
lyrics
buy track
Oh tired mind You must blur those creative lines And I try and try and try and try and try For what am I But emotion and predetermined lies That I’ll never No I’ll never rectify So build me up Again For when I fall I’ll make good art again So build me Build me up My friends What is this What is this This illness that you call a creative gift This illness that you call a gift Supposed to make me more Than I am? And what I know of hell Is your heaven will always expel Me for the impurities that lie In my head So build me up Up Again For if I fall I’ll make good art So build me Build me up Build me up my friends For my worth lies In my ability to sin And I do it with a steady hand In pen Oh why do you need me to bleed for you All these things I create Just to help myself through Would there still be value left in my art If I didn’t have the sight to see Was it there from the start? Or was it only my pain That made me the artist I am today Does that mean I have to choose between Happiness and being great? Oh build me up Build me up again Oh build me up For when I fall I’ll make good art again Oh build me up So build me Build me up my friend Build me up ‘Cuz my worth lies in my ability to sin Build me up My friend Oh build me up For worth lies in my ability to sin Oh build me up Oh build me up Oh build me up Build me up
8.
Tired 03:26
lyrics
buy track
I feel so tired but I can’t sleep Oh ya know baby Yeah I know baby I’m so exhausted by the way I think Oh ya know baby Yeah I know baby I can feel the tide Rise Behind these eyes But it won’t spill over tonight For I I no longer cry At least for my mind It comes and goes All the time I wanna fuck until I die Oh ya know baby How much I need you lately For every cell of mine Feels electrified Oh ya know baby Can you feel that humming? I can feel all the pleasures of this life Be heightened by My so-called manic mind And i Will do what it takes to keep feeling alive But will you abide Abide Will you come along for this ride Feel the flames licking up Every inch of skin As they are speaking in tongues And just slither in I dance around my pyre On ashen feet Oh burn me alive Oh burn everything That once made me, me I have been running from my mind But no matter how far I’ll go I can’t escape What’s lurking inside Oh my baby just see me For what I am But my baby don’t believe me still I have grown so fucking tired But I know if I rest my head I won’t know who will finally rise Oh my babe Don’t let me go Just love and fuck and fight me And hold me close Don’t close these eyes Sleep will take my mind My body lies My body just lies
9.
Chicagoland 04:14
lyrics
buy track
Something wicked this way comes Something wicked this way comes The pyre waits for the woman who wants Something wicked this way comes Something wicked this way comes Something wicked this way comes The lady is burnt by her lover’s tongue Something wicked this way comes Just driving around, just driving around Oh I think I might just be Chicago bound For I gotta make it out there For you’re the friend that I need To see So maybe my heart will know some peace My heads starting to pound Starting to pound These flashes through my eyelids Are scaring me now But I gotta make it out there For there’s a friend that I need To see To keep these images from ending me Nervous twitch in my hands For another cigarette that will surely be my end I can’t calm down I gotta make it there to make my amends Just so I can beg you to hold me So there would be silence in my head But i Am unwanted in Chicagoland. Growing fearful now I’m growing fearful now For every time I reach you You’re response is foul But I gotta make it out there For there’s a friend that I need To see so maybe my heartache will cease in me I’m growing manic now I’m growing manic now My sanity breaks with every pound Of my poor heartbeat As I’m reading the things you’re sending me Get the fuck outta town Oh nervous twitch in my hands For another cigarette that will surely be my end Another mile down I can feel my panic rising For I just to hold me To help contain who I am But I’m unwanted in Chicago Oh my wicked heart Oh this way comes to you Asking for my friend Oh my wicked heart Oh this way comes to you With hope you’ll take me in Oh my wicked heart Oh how it needs you Despite the lashings of your tongue Oh my wicked heart Better turn around You’re a burden now You have no friend here Oh nervous twitch in my hands For another cigarette that will be but one end I’ve lost it now I can feel myself Hyperventilating For all I needed All I needed Was my friend Now I’m all alone in Chicagoland.
10.
Baby, Please 05:24
lyrics
buy track
Oh I just wanna see your smile, my baby Come and sit for a little while We’ll talk about nothing oh Come Sunday we will be In our best clothes Laughing off the week I just wanna hear your laugh, my darling A simple exhaling of the breath That you’ve been holding As tightly as your clammy hands Holding up the world Till they finally grew stiff Oh I need a shock to my heart For my mind and heart are worlds apart I just wanna be set free You tell me Pack your bags, let’s go for a couple weeks We’ll get out of this rut that we found ourselves in We closed off the doors To all our senses I just wanna be alright You tell me I’ve been doing what it takes to feel alive But nothings working At least for the last few weeks Baby, I need to feel something other than my own grief. I need a shock to my heart For my mind and heart are worlds apart So take me as I am And I swear I’ll understand I’ll understand my friend But I just wanna see you cry My baby Oh release what’s killing your insides And tell me oh what it is that you need Can’t find it for yourself Than find it in me I just wanna hear you scream Let’s break the ice that’s been holding you down under sheets For I swear we can get past anything Oh together we can fight off all the bad feelings For we need a shock to our hearts Our mind and heart are worlds apart My friend, you weren’t alone as you thought You’re not alone in this You’re not alone at all You don’t have to feel it all on your own You’re not alone in feeling You’re not alone in feeling You’re not alone in feeling You’re not alone in feeling You’re not alone in feeling You’re not alone in feeling For I’ll be in your ears Telling you it’s alright If you just trust me Trust me trust me trust me trust me trust me Baby please Baby please Baby please Baby please We’ll sing it together We’ll sing it all Melodies of life Happy and raw Baby please Baby please Baby please Don’t leave me

about

“In a hauntingly raw production of sound and lyrical gravity, an artist offers up her pain, her spleen full of the blackest bile, to you in the hope that you may too purge yourself of this. "

Set to be released November 20, 2020, Irene Wilde offers up her pain in Spleen. Within the full-length album, the blackest bile is ever present. It is in the gut-wrenching honesty of the lyrics. It is in this damning sense of grief in her raw, minimalistic production. But still, despite this feeling of struggling to stay afloat in that thick, opaque liquid of heartache and sound, it pleads with you to continue to try. To exorcise your own demons along with Irene and to purge yourself of your own melancholy.

credits

released November 20, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Irene Wilde image

Irene Wilde Seattle, Washington

Avant-garde pop musician on a healing journey through art.

“ I paint figures that make beautiful my own vulnerabilities. I sing about what makes me blush. This is me connecting in the way I know how.. For these parts we tend to hide, they too have a desire to be known.”

Pyrrhicae is coming October 1, 2021. ... more

contact / help

Contact Irene Wilde

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Irene Wilde, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now