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1. |
Blinds
03:46
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Who am I
I listen to cars go by
Remembering that time
I was part of that eager flight
But now I just look through blinds
In my house
Down the street
On the block
In the city
I'm just in my house
Down the street
On the block
For no one hears a thing
We bite our tongues until they bleed
Silently concave forms
Spread across concrete floors
And sigh with no relief
Who am I
I don't want the answer sometimes
Remembering my mind
Before it feared everyday life
And how it shows through my eyes
In my house
Down the street
On the block
In the city
I'm just in my fucking house
Down the street
No one wants to hear me scream
No one wants to hear a god damn thing
So I bite our tongues until they bleed
Silently my concave form
Spreads across concrete floors
And sighs with no relief
Unraveling; one thread that holds the seams
My tar soaked lungs that can barely breathe
Flushed cheeks; rapid nerve endings
Oh clench the fists and pound
Till everything falls down
Hide your face until your muscles tense and quake
Someone release me from this god damn state
But they never really believe me anyway
Oh is this real?
Oh no no no
Oh is this real this thing you feel
Oh no no no
Oh is this real
Oh no no no
Oh is this real, this pain you say you feel
Oh no
In the house
Down the street
For no one hears a thing
So we bite our tongues until they bleed
Silently my concave form
Spreads across concrete floors
And sigh with no relief
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2. |
Aesthetic
03:44
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Am I wicked am I bright
As I watch you open up the
Sterilized thing that's about to bite
Might as well put me in a cage
Fill me up with prescriptions
'Till I either smile or break
For I was caught up in a storm
Pacing 'round the house
Trying to board up all the doors
Terrified that someone might see
The abnormalities embedded in me
No matter how I try
No matter how I fight
The difference between you and I
Keeps me up at night
For I was told something about me
Just wasn't right
I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics
In your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing
Except so unbearably light
Lover don't look at me that way
I need you to stand safely clear
Away from my gaze
For I'm about to burst in flames
Oh my insides are tight
I'm terrified for you to see me this way
For I don't know
What's happening to me
But I'm standing on the brink
Of torment and ecstasy
And how desperately I need
For you to know exactly
What that means
Waves are crashing
I take action
Every time I get nervous
I write about it
Baby can't you see
This affliction in me
Is both constricting
And setting me free
I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics
In your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing
Except so unbearably light
There's a darkness in me
Though you cannot see it
I feel it when I breathe
And I've grown so tired
Of hiding my supposed shame
The imbalance in my brain
When all I really want
And really need
Is for you to tell me that I'll will be okay
To be who we are
Should never hide ourselves
Eradicate the taboo nature
Of our mental health
We all deserve to be represented
Instead of forced to conform
By your anesthetics
Masked as lullabies in the media
That tell you lies that
We are all dangerous
And the only way to feel is incredibly light
And there's something wrong with you
If you aren't happy all the time.
I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics
In your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing
Except so unbearably light
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3. |
Captive
04:38
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When I raised a white flag
Up in the air
To my despair
I found I am the tree
That fell in the middle of the forest
But no one believes
What they cannot hear
Nor see
So pull me up in your arms
I'm your captive now
Lay my head back down
Wherever you want
Are you real
Or just haunting my thoughts?
Do you want to destroy
All that I once was?
So swallow me up for the taking
Let me feel that thrust
Towards the bed I won't be leaving
My heart is bound to you
My only
Can't you hold me
As if you were capable of loving
I'm going down
I'm going down
I'm going down
If you saw me now
I'm going down
I'm going down
Oh you are my only lover now
I'm going down
I'm going down
I'm going down
You bind me
Pour me out onto the carpet
It is rough but I
Have really learned to love it
Oh what do you really want from me now
For when I look in the mirror
I just see your smile
So swallow me up for the taking
Let me feel that thrust
Towards the bed I won't be leaving
My heart is bound to you
My only
Can't you hold me
As if you were capable of loving
I'm going down
I'm going down
I'm going down
If you saw me now
I'm going down
I'm going down
Oh you are my only lover now
I'm going down
I'm going down
I'm going down
You bind me
Oh please don't ever leave me
For without you
I have no excuse for
All my stupid mourning
Oh please just let me be
For these binds
Are starting to cut too deep
Oh I tried to escape
But you caught my dress
No I haven't told a soul
About you yet
Just don't tie my mind
To that bed
I swear I'll never try to leave you again
I'm going down
I'm going down
Oh you are my only lover now
I'm going down
I'm going down
I'm going down
You bind me
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4. |
Control
04:40
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A new day
A new faith
Reigns over me
Draw a box
Put your worries in it
Hopefully, it will help with
Some imagery
Just don't realize
It's just the floor plan
Of the room
You've been hiding in
Give life to the simple things
Oh anxiety don't get the best of me today
But the light is hurting my eyes
I'm combating stares by repeating lines
That composure is the key to fooling
All those naked eyes
Oh control, Oh control
Is all I need
Oh control, Oh control
Is all you need
Water wash all my sloth away
I've been promising to do better
Promising things that I
Cannot face
But everywhere I go
I see no reflection of me
How can I be in this world
And feel I'll never be
Sweet child
You're too selfish
To be happy
Oh control, Oh control
Is all I need
Oh control, Oh control
Is all you need
To know we're here
To know my hopes
And fears will be
Oh control, Oh control
Is all we seek
Oh give me that nervous tick
I don't wanna feel petrified
Like I'm losing my mind
Oh give me that nervous tick
I don't wanna look you in the eye
'Cuz I'm losing my mind
For the light is hurting my eyes
I'm combating stares by repeating lines
That composure is the key
To fooling all that I deny
Oh control, Oh control
Is all I need
Oh control, Oh control
Is all you need
To know we're here
To know our hopes
And fears will be
Oh control, Oh control
Is all we seek
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Irene Wilde Seattle, Washington
Avant-garde pop musician on a healing journey through art.
“ I paint figures that make beautiful
my own vulnerabilities. I sing about what makes me blush. This is me connecting in the way I know how.. For these parts we tend to hide, they too have a desire to be known.”
Pyrrhicae is coming October 1, 2021.
... more
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